Open Letter to My Dog, The Asshole

Dear Rusty,

Not only is it gross that you eat rabbit poop, but it's disgusting that you grab your stuff-less rabbit and then gum it for 30 minutes and try and shove it in my lap to get attention. I really wish there was a doggie mouthwash.

Also, when I whistle you are normally very obedient and come when called from outside to the door, but this rabbit poop thing that you've got going on, I don't get it. And don't pretend that you don't hear me, I see you with your muzzle on the ground, I see you snacking away... BUT I BUY YOU RABBIT TO EAT. Real rabbit. Real rabbit MEAT. NOT FREE POOP FROM THE BACKYARD.

So please, do not eat it.



P.S. Also, the security measures that I go through at Swanson Meats on Raws for Paws pick-up days is ridiculous enough that you really shouldn't be eating poop.

P.P.S. Buck, you reminded me of how often my dog is an asshole at the Holiday party on Saturday night and how much I don't share with people how much of an asshole my dog is even though when people meet Rusty they think he's the best dog ever. I promise, I will share more awesome stories and hopefully make you laugh more.

1 comment:

Anna@Directions Not Included said...

Sigh. I know this too well but it isn't rabbit poop. In this house our tiniest dog thinks the cat litter is an amazing treat. Gag!!!