5 Awesome Reasons to Own a Dog

1. You can blame all unwanted bodily functions on the dog so when the dog really does fart, you remember exactly why you CAN blame bodily functions on the dog.

2. Your shit disappears. Again, just blame it on the dog. Somehow I'm still missing a shoe from a few weeks ago and I can't find it. I remember leaving it at the bottom of the stairs... BUT NOW IT'S GONE. Maybe we really have a ghost?

3. Free entertainment. Watching a retriever shake a fake goose to kill it is pretty funny. But not when he does it in the living room in front of your big screen tv and it's come flying loose a few times. Same with a Kong Wubba. Not only has he snuck it into the house on occasion, but I'm pretty sure he does it to piss me off on purpose every once in awhile. See here:

4. It's fun to share snacks. Like apples, bananas, raspberries, strawberries, carrots, etc... If I suddenly don't feel like eating healthy, I can just give it to the dog. That way he's eating healthy, right? Plus it's also hilarious watching a dog try and eat an apple. And a carrot if they've never done so before.

5. The best part: morning snuggles. And NOT being hit in the face with a very large paw. It's a miracle when I don't get hit in the face with a paw. I've actually blamed a black eye and a very large, bleeding scratch on walking into a wall. WHO DOES THAT? Someone with a dog who doesn't know how large and scratchy his dog paws are, however, how in the world do you explain that to your boss without it sounding like spousal abuse? I have no idea...

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