The garden is off to a craptastic start.

Well, sort of.

Last year because of Chewie, I couldn't bend over much to garden because I didn't want to pop any stitches so that means that I wasn't able to weed as much as I wanted - instead I mulched and covered what I could, I dug up what I could and I sprayed vinegar at least twice per week.

But we have fucking ridiculous weeds - Creeping Bellflower (that has weird roots - it's like they're tubular, but creeping as well, you don't EVER get the whole thing by just pulling up the flower or the top, you literally have to take shovelfuls of dirt and throw the whole shovelful away); I found Ragweed one year and eradicated that; and I found a bit of Creeping Charlie in our front yard.

So this means that I was digging out lots of dirt in the gardens just to get rid of the bad soil - I'm still not done, I need to get more yard waste bags.

I also need to tackle the job of getting rid of grapevine. That shit needs the strong weed killer so I was forced to buy Roundup. This is the first time I've bought it and I am absolutely disappointed that nothing else will work on the grapevine and bellflower. I'll be wearing gloves and boots to use it - it's a carcinogen and quite frankly, I'm actually more pissed that people let their fucking weeds wander so that gardeners like myself are forced to use this shit so that I can save other plants and fences.


I do love it,

Streak of Gray


I suddenly saw a streak of gray hair. OMG.

I'm not quite panicked yet but still.


Does this mean I'm old? Does it mean I stress out too much? Or does it mean I just suck it up and get my hair colored every few months so I don't have to see it?

I'm thinking I just go get it colored. So that's on my list of things to do today - make an appointment at Aveda and get my hair colored. I should just book standing appointments for massages too. That might make my grays disappear. Or alcohol. If I drink enough then my vision will be blurry and I won't be able to see it, right? No, that won't work. Good grief.


Mer. Meal Planning.

If I don't plan out meals we end up eating frozen pizza.

Does that happen to anyone else? Yes?

Plus we eat Blue Plate Special.

Approximately 5:30.

Yeppers, that's right. Babies, toddlers, children, and old people all eat at the SAME TIME. If dinner isn't on the table at 5:30 I pretty much have a revolt on my hands. And I'm not outnumbered.

So I need to meal plan.

I'm trying something new - I've pinned so many Pinterest recipes and I do want to try quite a few but the problem is now finding them and TRYING them.

I started a Weekly Meal Planning Board.

How this is going to work or even if it will is still something to be determined. So far what has worked for me is just putting ingredients that we have on post-it notes and then determining what I can make out of what needs to be used up. Is it perfect? NOPE. I'm hoping for more organization, more crockpot meals, more easy meals, etc...

We'll see what happens. We'll see if it sticks.


2017 Gardening Thoughts

This year there's a shit ton of stuff that I want to do in our garden - it's just that I don't have the time to do them.

I need to start seeds in April -

Herbs - Basil, Dill, Oregano, Sage, Thyme, etc...

Except that I can't start seeds unless Bimmer Man is home or I have to hire someone to watch the kids. Chewie is into everything and during his naps I try to spend as much time with the Monkey that I can AND do all the housework. Bimmer Man is busy with work and his track car. SO. Seeds may not get started until mid-April. Or possibly not at all. It's been a bit of a tornado around here.

We also are getting estimates for a new fence - Chewie needs a fence so I'm not on suicide watch all the time with that kid. The south side fence is falling over and we pulled out the fence by the driveway so the backyard is currently open to the alley - and it's not like all of our neighbors have kids so a few people are pretty speedy down the alley. I'm thinking I need to put in a stop sign.

The estimates seem to be a shit show to me - $4600 for 100 feet of cedar fencing, $5600 for 100 feet of cedar fencing. GAH. That much much for a seriously small footage of fencing. I'm waiting on one bid, the third which will really tell me if one the two above is talking shit. I left a message with one person, which I'll call again today but he hasn't called me back. I'm thinking the person that referred us was kind of a dick to him and he's thinking we'll be dicks too. No, I JUST WANT A FENCE TO KEEP MY CHILD IN MY YARD.

Bimmer Man also complains about the garage - so I'm going to call a few cement/concrete contractors for estimates for a french drain in front of the garage. It can't be that expensive - just dig out asphalt, then pour concrete with a drainage ditch to go into the alley, cover it with a grate so the water doesn't go in the garage.

So that's what's going on here garden-wise.


Out of the Fog


Last Tuesday it was about 9:30 in the morning and I suddenly felt as if I had come out of a fog.

I realized that my postpartum hormones had finally leveled off. Gone away. I felt fucking free. Like I was swimming under water and running out of air to suddenly pop up and take a deep breath again.

It's nice to be back.

I don't feel like I'm REACTING anymore - I don't feel like I'm in fight/flight mode anymore - I don't feel like I'm running all the time.

It's a great feeling to have ME back. I have no idea if that makes any sense or not - but I always tell other new mothers, that it's 40 weeks to grow a baby, and it's 40 weeks to get yourself back - not just your body but YOURSELF. If there's something that is indescribable it's really the hormones that affect you. You can feel happy, then suddenly not. You can feel irritated, then suddenly not. And you just can't describe any of it. It's weird. It's weird. It's something that mother don't talk about - but if you're affected by postpartum crap, don't worry, I understand.

So now that the haze has lifted, I'm ME again.


January. Nope, February

The days have seriously flown by since Christmas.

Not only have I been freaking busy, but it's been a weird winter. There's no snow on the ground. It rained a few days ago. Ice is melting like crazy. It feels like in a few days I'm going to have to clean up the yard. I dunno - the weather is nice but climate change is not good. It doesn't feel like we're going to have many generations of people left on Earth - maybe 4? That's my guess with all the crap that's going on and the non-renewable resources that are being gutted from this planet.

But enough with that.

It's finally sunny outside for a few days. We've been able to walk to school, go to the park. Bimmer Man got the snip-snip which means we're DONE having kids. SO THAT MEANS I GET TO PURGE ALL THE CRAP. That's exciting. Like, super exciting. I'm currently waiting for Chewie to wake up so I can go grab a bag of maternity clothes and pass those on to another friend.

Unfortunately I'm still wearing a safety pin. The local JCC has had two bomb threats. Babies and toddlers were wheeled out into the parking lot in cribs. Swim classes were evacuated with older children carrying younger children out into the parking lots. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. Yes, I'm going to swear - it's been that bad since Trump has been elected President. People suddenly think they can be racist as HELL and get away with being a terrible person. I've marched, I've stood on a walking bridge twice, I will not back down. I will stand up to terrible people.

I've taken up watercolor painting again - and teaching The Monkey to do some awesome painting too. It's been an absolute blast. I actually painted her a Valentine's Day card yesterday filled with sparkly hearts. She makes me so happy!

And the Fisher Price Kick & Play Piano era has come to an end. I sold that AWESOME piece of children's equipment last week. It was Monkey's favorite AND Chewie's favorite toy. Now there's more room for more kid stuff. Sort of.

Next to be sold is the changing table - I've been having to wrestle Chewie to the ground for diaper changes and basically changing him upside down and backwards because he refuses to lay still. I tried strapping him onto the changing pad but that didn't work either. So I'm stuck with wrestling a baby until he's potty trained. So I think I'm going to try potty training him next summer so I'm not putting a death grip on a kid so he doesn't get shit all over the house. Because cleaning shit is the WORST. 

And that's all for now.

PS - the Monkey is going to Kindergarten in the Fall and I AM SO EXCITED. I think I might be the only parent to be SO EXCITED though. She gets bored at home and keeps asking to watch My Little Ponies so IT'S TIME FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO ENTERTAIN HER.