12.18.2012

My Dog, The Fear Farter

Yes, I've called my dog an asshole. He really is an asshole though I'm sure his cute pictures say otherwise.

But there another side to poor Rusty MONSTER.

He is a FEAR FARTER.

Yup. He farts.

When he's afraid of something he just lets one rip. It's downright smelly, disgusting and gross. You can ALWAYS tell that the fart comes from the dog.

Doorbell rings.

Dog farts.

Fedex truck parks in front of the house.

Dog farts.

Snowplow goes by.

Dog farts.

Move a big box.

Dog farts.

Move the baby gate.

Dog farts.

Get the picture?

And to be quite honest, I don't think there's training to overcome fear farting. I mean, what do you do? You can't exactly train people to not let one rip (unless you're me and you hold it in until you get home and get a huge stomachache from it). So I guess we'll have to live with the stench of a fear farting dog. That's Rusty for you. The fear farting asshole.

Christmas with Santa

It didn't go as well as I expected. The Monkey is great with strangers. Usually. Apparently big bearded ones are not her favorite. She took one look and definitely didn't like Santa. She's like me. I hated Santa. All of my pictures are crying ones too. Oh, well. It's an experience, right? The top pic is our Christmas card picture because that's the best one we got!


12.12.2012

Andes Mint Chocolate Bark

OMG. Chocolate. Add Mint. Eat. AND SWOON.

Even Bimmer Man who doesn't really like chocolate eats this. DELISH.


 Gather your ingredients.

Start a double boiler. Melt the white chocolate. Add a 1/2 tsp of mint extract. Drizzle into a parchment lined baking sheet and spread to however much you want with a spatula.

Refrigerate for about 15 minutes. Just enough the let the chocolate set.

Start a new double boiler. Melt the chocolate chocolate (you know, the BROWN chocolate). Drizzle onto the white chocolate. Spread with a spatula and grab the Andes mint pieces. Sprinkle onto the still-warm chocolate and press them into the chocolate (this is so they don't fall off when you go to eat it). Then again, put into the fridge for another 20 minutes. Once set either use a knife to break apart OR just slam it against the counter a few times to break it into chunks. Whatever works.





12.10.2012

Oy Vey.

We've got movement on the homefront.

As in I'm going to have to bring down the pack and play so I can pee type of movement.







12.06.2012

Easy Cinnamon Roll Ups



 YUM!!!



Crescent Rolls
Cinnamon
Sugar
Butter

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Mix cinnamon and sugar to your liking. (I used 1/4 cup of sugar and just a little more than 1/2 tsp of cinnamon).

Unroll crescent rolls from their can (and they are WAY HARDER to open than they used to be!).

Spread a little butter on each roll.

Using a spoon, drizzle or pour cinnamon/sugar mix onto the rolls.

Roll each roll (HAHA!), starting with the larger end.

Bake for approximately 12 - 15 minutes. 

12.04.2012

Make Your Own Baby Food - SQUASH







SUPER EASY!!

Bake/steam/cook your squash. Steam some other veggies. Put in blender. Add 1/4 - 1/2 cup of water. Puree. Put in ice cube trays to freeze. Label your bags. Add in the cubes. EASY.

To defrost I just stick in the microwave for 30 seconds, stir, taste to make sure it's not too hot.

I have the crazy kid that LOVES cold food though so I have to put it in the fridge for 10 minutes to cool it down from the microwave (even though it's room temp already!).

12.02.2012

Salt Dough Ornaments



Salt dough is super easy to make (if it wasn't easy, halfway through i would have stopped and NOT even bothered to post that I tried! HA!)

2 cups flour
1 cup salt
1 cup water

When you're finished, dry them in a 250 degree oven for at least 3 hours.

My tips:

Roll out the dough thinly. Add extra flour when you roll it out if you don't have parchment paper to line your baking trays.

Add a hole for a string to hang them I used a straw.

I also did a few with Simone's hands and feet. I didn't press her prints in deep enough though so I think I'm going to have to paint them to show the outlines. Oh, well. You live and you learn!





Hot Ham & Cheese Sandwiches




Kings Hawaiin Sweet Rolls
1/2 Medium Onion, chopped
4 tbsp butter
Sliced Ham
Sliced Cheese (I used muenster)
Mustard

Preheat oven to 425 degrees.

In a saute pan, add butter and onions. Saute over medium to medium-low heat until onions are VERY soft.

Meanwhile, get your sandwich ingredients ready and slice rolls in half. I did end up separating out all the rolls.

Mustard goes on both top and bottom rolls. When the onions are done, add about half to both top and bottom halves of rolls.

Add the sliced ham and the sliced cheese. Put the tops onto the sandwiches. Pour the rest of the butter/onion mixture on the tops of the sandwiches.

Put into oven until cheese is melted and the bread is nice and crusty on top.

Eat like a mad person because they are so good!

Nightstands & Mid Century Modern

Mid Century Nightstand from West Elm - $249

Oy vey. I've been thinking a lot about our Mid Century House. (Yes, it IS Mid Century, built in 1949!) Not only do we have the original floors but the cove ceilings and plaster walls are original too.

And so I would like to decorate it MORE Mid Century. BUT I don't want it to look straight out of Mad Men (Ok, EARLY episodes of Mad Men).

I'm fairly certain that for $250 I could probably go shopping at antique stores, garage sales and whatnot next year and get more than just one nightstand though.

I just have to remember to not go too retro - definitely no davenports for this house.