7.29.2010

How To Clean Dog Vomit

1. Pick it up with a bar towel or dish towel.

2. Throw it in laundry basin. Worry about that later.

3. Scream an expletive as dog vomits again. ON CARPET. LESS THAN TWO INCHES FROM A CEMENT FLOOR.

4. Throw dog outside.

5. Remember that dog vomited outside which is why you brought it inside so it wouldn't eat puke.

6. Turn on faucet outside.

7. Hose puke into driveway and under fence.

8. Go inside.

9. Open beer.

10. Scrub carpet with brush and Nature's Miracle.

11. Take a deep breath.

12. Finish beer.

13. Return to laundry tub, shake out vomit and throw into washing machine.

14. Get another beer.

15. Get out bar towels/dish towels for next time.

16. Let dog inside if you dare.

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